I came across a post recently, followed by a conversation about mothers and the lack of generational wealth being passed down. The sentiment was that, as we grow older, we start to realize our parents didn’t have it all figured out. That by 18 or 19, when kids begin to make independent decisions, they’re often labeled defiant—when really, they’re just starting to explore life in ways their parents never had the opportunity to.
There was mention of how many of us weren’t taught emotional control or how our emotions affect our lives, and while there’s some truth in that for many, I couldn’t help but think about the context that’s often ignored—especially when it comes to single mothers.
Some mommas, especially those doing it alone, operate in survival mode for most of their parenting journey. They give everything they have in the moment while juggling the enormous responsibility of raising a whole human being. With little to no help—outside of what they pay for—there’s often no room to pursue what they love, to build wealth, or to fully plan for the future without risking the very stability they’re fighting to provide.
Still, many of them teach more than they’re given credit for. They teach through consistency. Through resilience. Through showing up when no one else did. Maybe they don’t leave behind property, stocks, or savings accounts, but they pass on values. Grit. A work ethic. Emotional strength. They give what they didn’t get—and that is generational progress.
It’s up to the child to build from that. To take what was poured into them and move it forward. To add to the foundation, not criticize it for being incomplete. The unfortunate reality is that some choose to take it all for granted. They point fingers, not realizing that their own sense of freedom came at the cost of her sacrifice. They call themselves “unseen” or “misunderstood,” while failing to see her—a woman who gave up her own dreams so they could have options she never did.
It’s important to stop and ask: what exactly did she not teach you? Was it truly emotional control, or did you just not recognize it in her actions? She worked a job, held her tongue, kept her composure, navigated systems that weren’t built for her—and you still made it to school on time. You still had clean clothes. You knew how to carry yourself in public. That doesn’t just happen. That’s learned behavior, modeled daily.
The problem isn’t always what we weren’t taught. Sometimes, it’s what we refused to see.
So yes, generational wealth is important—but legacy is deeper than money. If your mother gave you more than she had, started the healing, planted the seeds, and stood by you while you figured things out—you are not a victim of your upbringing. You are the continuation of her effort. And whether or not you honor that will say more about you than it ever will about her.